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ahhhhh, i'm in love... with SOAP AND GLORY PRODUCTS, they have such amazingly cute packaging, which is probably what draws me into them even more, and like omfg! FINALLY, a brand in the uk (made by the uk) which is absoluetly amazing, well.. i guess lush is amazing too and the body shop, but yeah there packaging isn't that cute, i mean it's PINK! matches my room perfectly ^^

i love it so much, that i'm going to dedicate a whole blog entry onto the products! ^^

Glam-A-Lot soft and sexy fragrant body spray


the smell is sooooo nice, and sexuallllll ;) definately makes you feel amazing and it's so different to other perfumes i have tried, and i love this one! it lasts a fairly long time too ^^ which is a plus, i can say this is better than some really expensive perfume's i have used, which is great because this is fairly cheap from boots, definately affordable :D


Mist You Madly a flirty floral fragrant body spray

this is sooooo different from the glam-a-lot it's less powering and is much lighter which is great for everyday use, i'm definately going to be wearing this to school after i have ran out of my britney spears 'midnight fantasy' perfume, which is also one of my love and favourite perfumes from her range ^^ i must say i prefer this body spray to glam-a-lot as i find it's more sweeter and more wearable, in my opinion


Clean, Girls

this is the BEST shower/body wash ever! i have always been a person who loves bathing products and i love just having to sit in a bath and relax after a stressful day at school or with homework and all the studying which is driving me mad! so this is great to actually just wash yourself and make yourself feel so beautiful after a shower/bath :) i tend to have baths more than showers, just because it's winter and showers just make me feel horrible and cold, tehe >.^
it's also scented with Mist You Madly fragrance, which is even better! i swear i am actually addicted to this product, this is far my favourite product from soap and glory ever :)))))


Scrub Your Nose In It

i use this when i feel like my pores are all clogged up, or when i feel like my skin needs a deep clean, this seems to work, especially if i leave it in as a 3 minute mask, which is what i tend to do, and this makes a different to my skin, not so sure about the blemish preventing though :/ but i haven't really found a product even high end products which claim to do that, actually works tbh :) this made my skin so much clearer though, and it's the only skincare product i have tried from the range, i might try more later on, as i am sooo impressed with this product ^^


The Firmnator

this is from there SPA range, so it's the only blue soap and glory product i have tried, but i might try more from there spa range, and they also look so pretty and seem to be promising from the reviews i read on the official website, www.soapandglory.com but this OMFG! it actually works, and made my thighs less wobbly, which is an absolute miracle for this to happen, and made my bum firmer too LOL! i have quite a big bum so this helps tone it :)


SlimWear

also another firming/toning product i have tried from soap and glory, and this one i don't think it's as good as the firmnator, but i wouldn't say it's bad, i still used it all up! and it's good, but i would have to say out of the two i would definately purchase the firmnator over this any day, but hey! this could just be my opinion couldn't it, some people may love this product ^^ and i'm happy if it works for you, i really want to try out the Sit Tight one now, as many of the people who left reviews on that product seems to say how wonderful that product is for them :D


and that's all the products i have tried from soap and glory, i know it's not alot, but i am going to purchase other products from them and do other reviews and stuff on them, just because soap and glory is really starting to grow on me now ♡

byebye
maymay
xxx



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i feel like i want to share what i am going through because if i don't write it down, i think i really am going to suffer more than i already am ~

back a few months ago, during the summer holidays when i went to stay around my cousin maggie's house, i started to get these nightmares, which i wish would just go away, i didn't pay much attention as i thought they was just nightmares and they will fade sooner or later anyways, well basically the nightmares i had then was always the same, up until now they are still the same, but slightliy different, theres a little girl, i have no idea who the little girl is, or what she looks like as i can't see her face, and theres other people around her these people have no faces, and it's strange it's not scary like in other nightmares i've had previously but its frightening and freaky, every person in the dream has no facial features, they have hair but thats about it, they're slightly blury aswell, i thought i was just stressing so i didn't pay much attention but when i went home things got worse, the nightmares have screams in them, screams of pain or agony, like someone is in desperate need of help, i keep waking up over that...
and before i knew it, i kept waking up at the same specific time around 3am-4am i would wake up, and i didn't even realize it until the 6th time that i never had enough sleep anymore, i hated this feeling, not only is it creepy to mention that i would wake up, but i would just sit there and do nothing... not going to the bathroom, getting a drink or anything just sitting there :/
that was when i decided to tell my parents the first time that i keep having nightmares, however they just said i probably watched too much horror movies or stressing out to much or something like that, i just said 'ok' but infact i knew that this wasn't the cause, i thought it was to do with stress and horror movies, but i had no stress at this time of day, and i haven't watched any horror movies in ages, plus these nightmares aren't murder bloody violence nightmares it's just.. mentally thrilling nightmares if that makes any sense at all. so i didn't tell my parents and started to look for an answer on the internet, i didn't get much of an answer, no one seems to have what i am having apart from the only answer was i was inviting darkness into my life like stories, horror movies, games and etc, but i don't read stories,or watched horror movie's let alone playing games, then another person said that they had this problem when they had symptons of mental illness or leading onto mental illness, but i know that's not the cause or well i don't think so, i still don't have the courage to go to the doctor and ask why :(
about 2 months ago i told my parents again and this time my mum thought of something even more ridiculous by putting these crosses in my bedroom as she thinks i am seeing things, which i don't know if it's true or not but the crosses don't seem to be working so i guess its not that either..
my mum took me to the buddhist temple one saturday to pray for peace and after that i have got to admit my nightmares have faded for a couple of weeks, but after 2 weeks or so the nightmares started to come back and this time they mumble words to me, i still can't understand what they're saying half the time since i always wake up, but they say things like 'leave us alone' or something like that, i can no longer tell my parents, since i don't want them to worry, the only person i have told is my cousin samantha, since i can tell her anything but i feel like dying inside of me since i can't express it out to anyone, i am scared to sleep, i'm scared to even close my eyes, because i don't want to have the nightmare, i don't know how to tell anyone this in person or even when my parents ask me 'have you had an nightmare lately' all i can say is 'no', i keep hearing things that aren't real, i stare out of space during a conversation or even when i'm walking, i'm so tired i can hardly open my eyes when i'm in school and i sometimes hallucinate things thats all probably due to the fact that i have lack of sleep, i feel like screaming out but i really can't and i really wanna tell my parents but i can't..


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omg, i haven't updated my blog in ages, and reading back, giving me so many memories, so thought i might write back, today is october 30th 2010, and nothing's happened, apart from the week that has just gone was my half term, and ahhh! i had no rest at all! had to stay up most nights finishing off homework, my graphics coursework took forever, and i still need to do part of my p.e btec booklet and my music coursework as well as practice my piece for piano :( soo much stress

but OMG! i have mock exams starting on november 22nd 2010, need to be revising so much now, and definately need to be going to after school revision classes! althought they are just my mock GCSE exams, they're not my real GCSE which means if i don't do well in these, i can still make a effort and improve my grades for the real exams, but i'm so scared that i won't pass my exams! i really want to go into sixth form, to be honest i don't really want to go to college, but i'm scared i might not pass, last year when i done my biology exams i got like a U and i don't expect miracles to happen and for me and i will get an A or even a B, because i am not good in biology, i think the most i would get is probably a B/C grade, but because i want to do pyschology (if i do get into sixth form) i will probably have to do biology aswell, and i can't do that without an A/A* but anyways, i have to get brilliant grades to be able to choose my subjects for sixth form in the first place :( which i'm scared i won't be able to do i also want to do maths, and to do maths in sixth form in my school is really hard to get into, you have to get at least a A/A* grade, which i'm sure my brother will help me, as he's really good in maths ^^ but then i have to pass the entrance exam, which i heard is REALLY hard, a student from previous years, got A* for maths and didn't pass the entrance exam, and the person couldn't get into sixth form o.O

oh and my form teacher since year 9 said he is leaving :| WITHOUT seeing us graduate, i mean how rude, and he's going to some school in dorset, where it's really rough apparently, one of my friends sarah started crying because of this LOL!

i also can't wait for the drama, 'Jungle fish 2' to air, it's gonna air this thursday starting at november 4th 2010, it's 8 episodes, *sighs* why can't it be longer :'( i have been looking forward for this mini drama for a LONG time, since september which was when it was originally scheduled, but was postponed to october 21st and postponed to the final date on november 4th :( hopefully it won't be postponed again, i love the synposis of the story, and especially T-ara's jiyeon will be in this drama, and reading some articles on sites, it says she's the main lead aswell ^^ YAYYYYY! further information she is paired with MBLAQ's lee joon ^^ what a sweet and refreshing couple, this is probably the main reason why i am so looking forward to this drama and hopefully i won't be dissapointed and MORE jiyeonxleejoon scenes ^^

i just finished watching the drama, 'Playful kiss' hopefully purchasing it on dvd soon, and same with 'King baker, kim tak gu' they're both really good dramas, which i can play over and over again! i had been looking forward to playful kiss for ages aswell, and i remember when the first episode aired on september 1st ^^, woahhhhh it seems like it was ages ago, time does go past fast :( and i wish it would slow down a bit, i also really enjoyed watching 'bad guy' and i love their OST, especially the song 'Sub title' is just beautiful! i've already played it over and over again for almost 800 or something, o.O! oh yeah i am also loving the current weekend korean drama, 'Flames of desire/flames of ambition' it's really good, a whole totally different story to king baker, kim tak gu, and the actors in it are all top actors! which is good ^^ and seo woo is in it aswell, i like her in cinderella's sister, but she is just amazing in this drama, unfortunately i can't watch the last two episodes which aired last week (that is subbed ofcourse) because viikii video's aren't working for me, although i can understand some korean, i won't be able to understand the whole episode, so i'm just going to be patient or get spoilers so i can watch the new episodes tomorrow or on monday, i know i know i should be studying.. STUDY MAY STUDY!!!!!

there is nothing on tv atm, which is why i am bothered to right this, i am just listening to tinie tempah's new song, it's like miami to ibiza or something like that LOL! theres like no movies on either :'(

it's halloween tomorrow, i still remember how our pumpkin got stolen last year, babo chavs! stealing someone's pumpkin, makes me sick! LOL joking, but seriously ? who would steal other people's pumpkins o.O god, do people these days really have nothing better to do with their life than taking people's pumpkins ? WTF! i bet they feel so cool ehhh ;)

hmm, what else, i don't think theres anything else i could say :/ ...
oh no wait there is, n-dubz are releasing their new song, 'GIRLS' tomorrow, on channel 4 11:20am, i will be asleep or going to wembley then but i recorded it, so it's fine ^^ i can't wait to listen to it though, as i am a HUGE n-dubz fan! and their new album is to be released in 30 days ^^ i can't wait! still need to stick my n-dubz poster on my wall though :/ i keep forgetting to do that ahhhhh! T_T

my daddy has promised to upgrade my phone to a blackberry when my contract runs out ^^ but that still ages away wawa, it ends on april 21st and thats LONG! i'm going to get the blackberry bold 9700, unless a new blackberry bold comes out, i don't know why, but i'm not so keen on the blackberry curve, so i know i want to get a blackberry bold, but not sure whether to purchase the white or black one, but by the time my contract runs out i bet i want a iphone, but they're quite expensive, so i might just wait till i'm older and i can earn my own money and then purchase it myself! i am also going to buy a luxaddiction case to make it look much prettier, and different from all my friends blackberry's, as blackberry's are so common now, i want to make mine individual, i think the main purpose of a blackberry for me is because of bbm, and other stuff aswell, but apparentlly blackberry's always have problems o.O hopefully by then, they will be able to improve on it ^^ ~

i feel so ill, have been for the entire week :( it's getting so cold, and i've got the worst cold and migrane ever right now
oh and i got a new kitten called 'sebastian' well it's 1 years old now ^^ sebz is ginger, and soooo cute!

byebye
maymay
xxx
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Monday: ~ i went to Westfield Shopping Centre in London, with my Mummy and Daddy ♥ and i went to Hollister to buy some stuff... went to eat some cake and ice cream ~ and then to M.A.C to buy some make-up and brushes as mine are getting quite worn out, then i went into boots but didn't buy anything although i wanted to buy a foundation but my parents rang me to hurry up so i couldn't test my right shade, so i would probably buy it another day when i'm in town, i love shopping at Westfield and looking at the village department and going into House Of Frazer ♥ oh and ofcourse Tiffany&Co, i am currently saving up for either a ring or necklace there ~ woohoo

Tuesday: it was my mummy's birthday but i felt so bad, or quite bad anyways because i forgot about it, and didn't even write her a card or give her anything... well my oldest brother gave her ALOT of money, so i suppose that would make her happy... i didn't get her anything for mothers day either O_O!! well later on me, my mummy and my daddy went to Borehamwood because my Daddy needed to go to the shop to do something and my mummy just wanted to go shopping so, so did i, i bought the GOSH velvet touch foundation primer, going to try it out and i HOPE it does not break me out or cause my irritating spots and acne scars to be any worse! i hate you maybelline dream matte mousse for doing this to my skin T_T oh and then at night me and my whole family went out to have dinner ^o^

Wednesday: i had a lie in, went out wayy too much this week and had hardly any sleep which made my skin break out more, and my eyes were just tired and blehhhhhhh just sleepy in other words, but today was WEDNESDAY! ♥ which means more Cinderella's Sister YAYY o^.^o ~ i couldn't watch it live stream as my internet explorer was not working for me :( and then player generally wouldn't work on mozilla firefox T_T so i had to dread so many boring hours waiting for it to be uploaded on bada or available to download on cashewmania ~

Thursday: didn't do much today either, just went out for a little bit to meet someone ~ but yeah it was a beautiful day aswell T_T huhu ~ so sad ~ wish i did go out now, i mean WHEN DO YOU ACTUALLY GET WEATHER SO GOOD IN THE UK! NEVER NOT EVEN IN SUMMER ~ grrr -_- that's why i hate living in the uk, don't mind it having shops close quite early, and not much shops that i like e.g. in shopping malls and stuff, i much prefer hong kong's street stuff, fashion and etc.. but i guess i'll live BUT THE WEATHER! i can't, one thing good is only it snows and i love snow but i love a warm hot summer too ¬_¬ oh and also it's thursday ~ which means more Cinderella's Sister ~ the soompi thread is moving soo fast YAYY! ^o^ and it's only been 4 episodes, this drama is soo popular and i'm loving it, but OMO! ~ TIME LEAP MUCH, 8 years now the story is going to start from and Moon Geun Young has cut her hair or some people say on soompi, they made a wig for her but still she has short hair, WTF! i want her old long hair back ~ T_T and AHHHH next week, taecyeon is appearing ♥

byebye.
maymay

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yeah babyyyy! it's the easter holidays now ^_^
which means, more sleep, more shopping, more days out and NO SCHOOL FOR TWO WEEKS, go me >.^
i'm bored today as theres no shops open as they're all closed =.=, but i guess i can stay on the computer for longer, reading about cinderella's sister on soompi forums. and watching the first 2 episodes over and over again, i will never get tired of it :)

i LOVE this drama, it's only been the first 2 episodes and i am hooked! i keep wanting more, and the OST in the drama is sooo sweet and lovely, like a fairytale sort of music you would get, i can not wait for Wednesday & Thursday's now because of this drama, there is going to be 20 episodes, i will be soo sad when the drama ends "/ THE WEEK IS GOING SOOOO SLOW, it seems like it's been ages since the last 2 episodes came out :(
MGY is sooo pretty, i remember watching her in autumn's tale/endless love, when i was a little girl on VCD as they didn't have DVD's back then, that's how long it's been and i was watching her role in the drama, i love that drama, it's one of my favourites of all times :) such a sweet and kind interesting drama i will never forget, i think it might of been my first ever korean drama actually, unless i watched another one when i was SOOOO little that i can't even remember, but yeah she's grown so pretty and her acting skills are amazing, CJM is so cute, his smile is too die for, and in episode 1 theres this chase scene of CJM and MGY and it's just sooo damn good, i keep repeating that part over and over again, one of the best scenes i have ever watched in any sort of dramas ^^ i think if there was a "Best Drama Scene Award" that should soooo win it, as everyone in the "Cinderella's Unni/Sister" soompi thread loves that scene too ^_^ ♥
the chase scene ♥♥♥
and SW is soo cute, everyone seems to hate her or critize her saying she's annoying and she looks retarded and tries "too" hard to be cute, but i think she portrays her role nicely, she is meant to be innocent and cute as she's cinderella, and she lost her mother at a young age i think its about 7, i would love to have a sister like her, she's soo adorable ^^ ~




the script/drama isn't about the typical cinderella story that we read about in fairytales and stuff, which would have been boring and this is different, so i guess thats the reason as to why i love this drama, it focus' on cinderella's unni/sister and her view point of her own life, instead of cinderella suffering (although she could suffer later on in the series) she has everything she wants, and she is protected by her father and other people around her, whereas MGY the sister suffers a hard life with her mother constantly going from one men to another, if the story goes along with the real cinderella story, HyoSun which is SW role's father would pass away and then maybe eunjo (MGY role)'s mother kangsook would turn evil towards Hyosun, or maybe she will continue being nice to hyosun, i don't know i would have to watch more episodes before i can make a suggestion on what will happen, but OMO!~ Taecyeon from 2PM is in this drama too, and he is the little fat kid from the beginning who loves his noona, soo cute, can not wait for his to appear, ^_^ i am getting so excited about this, and wish wednesday and thursday will just hurry up as i'm soo impatient! hehe ~

also, i bought a few new foundations, i will write that later on so hopefully when i'm older i will remember the foundation and maybe go back to it, as i quite like it ^^
and i bought the clinique anti-blemish 3 step, in 2 weeks time i will go back to clinique for a check-up, ^^ and i have been using it for 2 days, haven't noticed any difference "/ i really want clear skin so this was my only option left, i wanted to get the clinique 3 step solution but the lady at the counter suggested me to try this, i hope it works ^_^




byebye
maymay.
♥
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well my day today was pretty shit :/
my music teacher had to shout at me, because i didn't go to my piano lessons, grr =.=
but to add on that i am feeling so ill and wasn't in the best mood considering i had a fight with a friend, FFS! ~
i swear she is forcing me to carry on doing music or something, wtf ? no i don't enjoy going to piano lessons, no i don't like to read music off notes, and NO I STILL WANT TO PLAY THE PIANO BUT NOT IN SCHOOL! i tried to say it as nice as i can ~ but nahhh, she seems like she totally ignored what i had said -_-'' and then she started going on about pressure in school or GCSE's to be honest i wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying, but i just nodded and agreed to whatever she said so she can just stop talking and putting me in a more badder mood, but i guess that was the wrong idea, as i had not known what half the things she said to me, she said she's going to tell my head of house, i guess she's going to say something about pressure in school.. oh thats great isn't it, and i bet they'll contact my parents, and my parents will be like ''what the hell may! your teacher *name* contacted me telling me you was upset in school ? and that you feel like you have loads of pressure on you ? it's not like we're forcing you OVERLY to do well and not get STRAIGHT A*'s in all subjects, even though that will be good as you can get into sixth form and a good university when your older, but WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US ? IF YOUR UPSET YOU SHOULD COME TALK TO US ?" and i will be like "meh! *walks up to my room and locks it*" then they will be shouting if not i will be surprised saying something like actually i don't know how to say it in english but anyways just complaining and stuff basically.. then i will be like "GRRRRRR... (so angry at the music teacher and the other teacher for contacting my parents" then a few hours later, my mum will probably be coming up to my room and telling me to open the door so i would.. then she would keep on going on about it, then my dad will ring me and ask me whats wrong... then my mum will say "why was i upset" then i will be answering "oh no reason in particular" then she will be like "oh really, well i don't believe that" then we will probably have an argument and i will be texting people and turning up my music to cover her words... and then *the end* end of the day ^_^ but then the next morning it will repeat all over again until a few days when something new comes in....
see how much hassle this has caused and it's all their fault, no actually it's all THAT FRIEND'S fault for being in a fight and making me be in such a bad mood in the first place... o_O ~ then my piano teacher will probably ask other people about me and i will be like ''-_-'' and when i see him, he will say ''what was wrong'' then i will say ''nothing in particular'' then we will have a whole lesson on that, then we will have no time for my piano lesson, then i would miss a whole lesson, i swear i never learn anything there either! oh and then i would have to fix the problem with the friend which i bet is going to take a while and i haven't thought of how to fix it but it will come along if not, then oh wells :)

yes so this is the end of my story of how my life will come to a diaster once my music teacher tells my head of house whats happened... good luck to me to bear with it all ¬_¬

byebye
maymay
♥
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ahhhhh, i'm in love... with SOAP AND GLORY PRODUCTS, they have such amazingly cute packaging, which is probably what draws me into them even more, and like omfg! FINALLY, a brand in the uk (made by the uk) which is absoluetly amazing, well.. i guess lush is amazing too and the body shop, but yeah there packaging isn't that cute, i mean it's PINK! matches my room perfectly ^^

i love it so much, that i'm going to dedicate a whole blog entry onto the products! ^^

Glam-A-Lot soft and sexy fragrant body spray


the smell is sooooo nice, and sexuallllll ;) definately makes you feel amazing and it's so different to other perfumes i have tried, and i love this one! it lasts a fairly long time too ^^ which is a plus, i can say this is better than some really expensive perfume's i have used, which is great because this is fairly cheap from boots, definately affordable :D


Mist You Madly a flirty floral fragrant body spray

this is sooooo different from the glam-a-lot it's less powering and is much lighter which is great for everyday use, i'm definately going to be wearing this to school after i have ran out of my britney spears 'midnight fantasy' perfume, which is also one of my love and favourite perfumes from her range ^^ i must say i prefer this body spray to glam-a-lot as i find it's more sweeter and more wearable, in my opinion


Clean, Girls

this is the BEST shower/body wash ever! i have always been a person who loves bathing products and i love just having to sit in a bath and relax after a stressful day at school or with homework and all the studying which is driving me mad! so this is great to actually just wash yourself and make yourself feel so beautiful after a shower/bath :) i tend to have baths more than showers, just because it's winter and showers just make me feel horrible and cold, tehe >.^
it's also scented with Mist You Madly fragrance, which is even better! i swear i am actually addicted to this product, this is far my favourite product from soap and glory ever :)))))


Scrub Your Nose In It

i use this when i feel like my pores are all clogged up, or when i feel like my skin needs a deep clean, this seems to work, especially if i leave it in as a 3 minute mask, which is what i tend to do, and this makes a different to my skin, not so sure about the blemish preventing though :/ but i haven't really found a product even high end products which claim to do that, actually works tbh :) this made my skin so much clearer though, and it's the only skincare product i have tried from the range, i might try more later on, as i am sooo impressed with this product ^^


The Firmnator

this is from there SPA range, so it's the only blue soap and glory product i have tried, but i might try more from there spa range, and they also look so pretty and seem to be promising from the reviews i read on the official website, www.soapandglory.com but this OMFG! it actually works, and made my thighs less wobbly, which is an absolute miracle for this to happen, and made my bum firmer too LOL! i have quite a big bum so this helps tone it :)


SlimWear

also another firming/toning product i have tried from soap and glory, and this one i don't think it's as good as the firmnator, but i wouldn't say it's bad, i still used it all up! and it's good, but i would have to say out of the two i would definately purchase the firmnator over this any day, but hey! this could just be my opinion couldn't it, some people may love this product ^^ and i'm happy if it works for you, i really want to try out the Sit Tight one now, as many of the people who left reviews on that product seems to say how wonderful that product is for them :D


and that's all the products i have tried from soap and glory, i know it's not alot, but i am going to purchase other products from them and do other reviews and stuff on them, just because soap and glory is really starting to grow on me now ♡

byebye
maymay
xxx



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i feel like i want to share what i am going through because if i don't write it down, i think i really am going to suffer more than i already am ~

back a few months ago, during the summer holidays when i went to stay around my cousin maggie's house, i started to get these nightmares, which i wish would just go away, i didn't pay much attention as i thought they was just nightmares and they will fade sooner or later anyways, well basically the nightmares i had then was always the same, up until now they are still the same, but slightliy different, theres a little girl, i have no idea who the little girl is, or what she looks like as i can't see her face, and theres other people around her these people have no faces, and it's strange it's not scary like in other nightmares i've had previously but its frightening and freaky, every person in the dream has no facial features, they have hair but thats about it, they're slightly blury aswell, i thought i was just stressing so i didn't pay much attention but when i went home things got worse, the nightmares have screams in them, screams of pain or agony, like someone is in desperate need of help, i keep waking up over that...
and before i knew it, i kept waking up at the same specific time around 3am-4am i would wake up, and i didn't even realize it until the 6th time that i never had enough sleep anymore, i hated this feeling, not only is it creepy to mention that i would wake up, but i would just sit there and do nothing... not going to the bathroom, getting a drink or anything just sitting there :/
that was when i decided to tell my parents the first time that i keep having nightmares, however they just said i probably watched too much horror movies or stressing out to much or something like that, i just said 'ok' but infact i knew that this wasn't the cause, i thought it was to do with stress and horror movies, but i had no stress at this time of day, and i haven't watched any horror movies in ages, plus these nightmares aren't murder bloody violence nightmares it's just.. mentally thrilling nightmares if that makes any sense at all. so i didn't tell my parents and started to look for an answer on the internet, i didn't get much of an answer, no one seems to have what i am having apart from the only answer was i was inviting darkness into my life like stories, horror movies, games and etc, but i don't read stories,or watched horror movie's let alone playing games, then another person said that they had this problem when they had symptons of mental illness or leading onto mental illness, but i know that's not the cause or well i don't think so, i still don't have the courage to go to the doctor and ask why :(
about 2 months ago i told my parents again and this time my mum thought of something even more ridiculous by putting these crosses in my bedroom as she thinks i am seeing things, which i don't know if it's true or not but the crosses don't seem to be working so i guess its not that either..
my mum took me to the buddhist temple one saturday to pray for peace and after that i have got to admit my nightmares have faded for a couple of weeks, but after 2 weeks or so the nightmares started to come back and this time they mumble words to me, i still can't understand what they're saying half the time since i always wake up, but they say things like 'leave us alone' or something like that, i can no longer tell my parents, since i don't want them to worry, the only person i have told is my cousin samantha, since i can tell her anything but i feel like dying inside of me since i can't express it out to anyone, i am scared to sleep, i'm scared to even close my eyes, because i don't want to have the nightmare, i don't know how to tell anyone this in person or even when my parents ask me 'have you had an nightmare lately' all i can say is 'no', i keep hearing things that aren't real, i stare out of space during a conversation or even when i'm walking, i'm so tired i can hardly open my eyes when i'm in school and i sometimes hallucinate things thats all probably due to the fact that i have lack of sleep, i feel like screaming out but i really can't and i really wanna tell my parents but i can't..


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omg, i haven't updated my blog in ages, and reading back, giving me so many memories, so thought i might write back, today is october 30th 2010, and nothing's happened, apart from the week that has just gone was my half term, and ahhh! i had no rest at all! had to stay up most nights finishing off homework, my graphics coursework took forever, and i still need to do part of my p.e btec booklet and my music coursework as well as practice my piece for piano :( soo much stress

but OMG! i have mock exams starting on november 22nd 2010, need to be revising so much now, and definately need to be going to after school revision classes! althought they are just my mock GCSE exams, they're not my real GCSE which means if i don't do well in these, i can still make a effort and improve my grades for the real exams, but i'm so scared that i won't pass my exams! i really want to go into sixth form, to be honest i don't really want to go to college, but i'm scared i might not pass, last year when i done my biology exams i got like a U and i don't expect miracles to happen and for me and i will get an A or even a B, because i am not good in biology, i think the most i would get is probably a B/C grade, but because i want to do pyschology (if i do get into sixth form) i will probably have to do biology aswell, and i can't do that without an A/A* but anyways, i have to get brilliant grades to be able to choose my subjects for sixth form in the first place :( which i'm scared i won't be able to do i also want to do maths, and to do maths in sixth form in my school is really hard to get into, you have to get at least a A/A* grade, which i'm sure my brother will help me, as he's really good in maths ^^ but then i have to pass the entrance exam, which i heard is REALLY hard, a student from previous years, got A* for maths and didn't pass the entrance exam, and the person couldn't get into sixth form o.O

oh and my form teacher since year 9 said he is leaving :| WITHOUT seeing us graduate, i mean how rude, and he's going to some school in dorset, where it's really rough apparently, one of my friends sarah started crying because of this LOL!

i also can't wait for the drama, 'Jungle fish 2' to air, it's gonna air this thursday starting at november 4th 2010, it's 8 episodes, *sighs* why can't it be longer :'( i have been looking forward for this mini drama for a LONG time, since september which was when it was originally scheduled, but was postponed to october 21st and postponed to the final date on november 4th :( hopefully it won't be postponed again, i love the synposis of the story, and especially T-ara's jiyeon will be in this drama, and reading some articles on sites, it says she's the main lead aswell ^^ YAYYYYY! further information she is paired with MBLAQ's lee joon ^^ what a sweet and refreshing couple, this is probably the main reason why i am so looking forward to this drama and hopefully i won't be dissapointed and MORE jiyeonxleejoon scenes ^^

i just finished watching the drama, 'Playful kiss' hopefully purchasing it on dvd soon, and same with 'King baker, kim tak gu' they're both really good dramas, which i can play over and over again! i had been looking forward to playful kiss for ages aswell, and i remember when the first episode aired on september 1st ^^, woahhhhh it seems like it was ages ago, time does go past fast :( and i wish it would slow down a bit, i also really enjoyed watching 'bad guy' and i love their OST, especially the song 'Sub title' is just beautiful! i've already played it over and over again for almost 800 or something, o.O! oh yeah i am also loving the current weekend korean drama, 'Flames of desire/flames of ambition' it's really good, a whole totally different story to king baker, kim tak gu, and the actors in it are all top actors! which is good ^^ and seo woo is in it aswell, i like her in cinderella's sister, but she is just amazing in this drama, unfortunately i can't watch the last two episodes which aired last week (that is subbed ofcourse) because viikii video's aren't working for me, although i can understand some korean, i won't be able to understand the whole episode, so i'm just going to be patient or get spoilers so i can watch the new episodes tomorrow or on monday, i know i know i should be studying.. STUDY MAY STUDY!!!!!

there is nothing on tv atm, which is why i am bothered to right this, i am just listening to tinie tempah's new song, it's like miami to ibiza or something like that LOL! theres like no movies on either :'(

it's halloween tomorrow, i still remember how our pumpkin got stolen last year, babo chavs! stealing someone's pumpkin, makes me sick! LOL joking, but seriously ? who would steal other people's pumpkins o.O god, do people these days really have nothing better to do with their life than taking people's pumpkins ? WTF! i bet they feel so cool ehhh ;)

hmm, what else, i don't think theres anything else i could say :/ ...
oh no wait there is, n-dubz are releasing their new song, 'GIRLS' tomorrow, on channel 4 11:20am, i will be asleep or going to wembley then but i recorded it, so it's fine ^^ i can't wait to listen to it though, as i am a HUGE n-dubz fan! and their new album is to be released in 30 days ^^ i can't wait! still need to stick my n-dubz poster on my wall though :/ i keep forgetting to do that ahhhhh! T_T

my daddy has promised to upgrade my phone to a blackberry when my contract runs out ^^ but that still ages away wawa, it ends on april 21st and thats LONG! i'm going to get the blackberry bold 9700, unless a new blackberry bold comes out, i don't know why, but i'm not so keen on the blackberry curve, so i know i want to get a blackberry bold, but not sure whether to purchase the white or black one, but by the time my contract runs out i bet i want a iphone, but they're quite expensive, so i might just wait till i'm older and i can earn my own money and then purchase it myself! i am also going to buy a luxaddiction case to make it look much prettier, and different from all my friends blackberry's, as blackberry's are so common now, i want to make mine individual, i think the main purpose of a blackberry for me is because of bbm, and other stuff aswell, but apparentlly blackberry's always have problems o.O hopefully by then, they will be able to improve on it ^^ ~

i feel so ill, have been for the entire week :( it's getting so cold, and i've got the worst cold and migrane ever right now
oh and i got a new kitten called 'sebastian' well it's 1 years old now ^^ sebz is ginger, and soooo cute!

byebye
maymay
xxx
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Monday: ~ i went to Westfield Shopping Centre in London, with my Mummy and Daddy ♥ and i went to Hollister to buy some stuff... went to eat some cake and ice cream ~ and then to M.A.C to buy some make-up and brushes as mine are getting quite worn out, then i went into boots but didn't buy anything although i wanted to buy a foundation but my parents rang me to hurry up so i couldn't test my right shade, so i would probably buy it another day when i'm in town, i love shopping at Westfield and looking at the village department and going into House Of Frazer ♥ oh and ofcourse Tiffany&Co, i am currently saving up for either a ring or necklace there ~ woohoo

Tuesday: it was my mummy's birthday but i felt so bad, or quite bad anyways because i forgot about it, and didn't even write her a card or give her anything... well my oldest brother gave her ALOT of money, so i suppose that would make her happy... i didn't get her anything for mothers day either O_O!! well later on me, my mummy and my daddy went to Borehamwood because my Daddy needed to go to the shop to do something and my mummy just wanted to go shopping so, so did i, i bought the GOSH velvet touch foundation primer, going to try it out and i HOPE it does not break me out or cause my irritating spots and acne scars to be any worse! i hate you maybelline dream matte mousse for doing this to my skin T_T oh and then at night me and my whole family went out to have dinner ^o^

Wednesday: i had a lie in, went out wayy too much this week and had hardly any sleep which made my skin break out more, and my eyes were just tired and blehhhhhhh just sleepy in other words, but today was WEDNESDAY! ♥ which means more Cinderella's Sister YAYY o^.^o ~ i couldn't watch it live stream as my internet explorer was not working for me :( and then player generally wouldn't work on mozilla firefox T_T so i had to dread so many boring hours waiting for it to be uploaded on bada or available to download on cashewmania ~

Thursday: didn't do much today either, just went out for a little bit to meet someone ~ but yeah it was a beautiful day aswell T_T huhu ~ so sad ~ wish i did go out now, i mean WHEN DO YOU ACTUALLY GET WEATHER SO GOOD IN THE UK! NEVER NOT EVEN IN SUMMER ~ grrr -_- that's why i hate living in the uk, don't mind it having shops close quite early, and not much shops that i like e.g. in shopping malls and stuff, i much prefer hong kong's street stuff, fashion and etc.. but i guess i'll live BUT THE WEATHER! i can't, one thing good is only it snows and i love snow but i love a warm hot summer too ¬_¬ oh and also it's thursday ~ which means more Cinderella's Sister ~ the soompi thread is moving soo fast YAYY! ^o^ and it's only been 4 episodes, this drama is soo popular and i'm loving it, but OMO! ~ TIME LEAP MUCH, 8 years now the story is going to start from and Moon Geun Young has cut her hair or some people say on soompi, they made a wig for her but still she has short hair, WTF! i want her old long hair back ~ T_T and AHHHH next week, taecyeon is appearing ♥

byebye.
maymay

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yeah babyyyy! it's the easter holidays now ^_^
which means, more sleep, more shopping, more days out and NO SCHOOL FOR TWO WEEKS, go me >.^
i'm bored today as theres no shops open as they're all closed =.=, but i guess i can stay on the computer for longer, reading about cinderella's sister on soompi forums. and watching the first 2 episodes over and over again, i will never get tired of it :)

i LOVE this drama, it's only been the first 2 episodes and i am hooked! i keep wanting more, and the OST in the drama is sooo sweet and lovely, like a fairytale sort of music you would get, i can not wait for Wednesday & Thursday's now because of this drama, there is going to be 20 episodes, i will be soo sad when the drama ends "/ THE WEEK IS GOING SOOOO SLOW, it seems like it's been ages since the last 2 episodes came out :(
MGY is sooo pretty, i remember watching her in autumn's tale/endless love, when i was a little girl on VCD as they didn't have DVD's back then, that's how long it's been and i was watching her role in the drama, i love that drama, it's one of my favourites of all times :) such a sweet and kind interesting drama i will never forget, i think it might of been my first ever korean drama actually, unless i watched another one when i was SOOOO little that i can't even remember, but yeah she's grown so pretty and her acting skills are amazing, CJM is so cute, his smile is too die for, and in episode 1 theres this chase scene of CJM and MGY and it's just sooo damn good, i keep repeating that part over and over again, one of the best scenes i have ever watched in any sort of dramas ^^ i think if there was a "Best Drama Scene Award" that should soooo win it, as everyone in the "Cinderella's Unni/Sister" soompi thread loves that scene too ^_^ ♥
the chase scene ♥♥♥
and SW is soo cute, everyone seems to hate her or critize her saying she's annoying and she looks retarded and tries "too" hard to be cute, but i think she portrays her role nicely, she is meant to be innocent and cute as she's cinderella, and she lost her mother at a young age i think its about 7, i would love to have a sister like her, she's soo adorable ^^ ~




the script/drama isn't about the typical cinderella story that we read about in fairytales and stuff, which would have been boring and this is different, so i guess thats the reason as to why i love this drama, it focus' on cinderella's unni/sister and her view point of her own life, instead of cinderella suffering (although she could suffer later on in the series) she has everything she wants, and she is protected by her father and other people around her, whereas MGY the sister suffers a hard life with her mother constantly going from one men to another, if the story goes along with the real cinderella story, HyoSun which is SW role's father would pass away and then maybe eunjo (MGY role)'s mother kangsook would turn evil towards Hyosun, or maybe she will continue being nice to hyosun, i don't know i would have to watch more episodes before i can make a suggestion on what will happen, but OMO!~ Taecyeon from 2PM is in this drama too, and he is the little fat kid from the beginning who loves his noona, soo cute, can not wait for his to appear, ^_^ i am getting so excited about this, and wish wednesday and thursday will just hurry up as i'm soo impatient! hehe ~

also, i bought a few new foundations, i will write that later on so hopefully when i'm older i will remember the foundation and maybe go back to it, as i quite like it ^^
and i bought the clinique anti-blemish 3 step, in 2 weeks time i will go back to clinique for a check-up, ^^ and i have been using it for 2 days, haven't noticed any difference "/ i really want clear skin so this was my only option left, i wanted to get the clinique 3 step solution but the lady at the counter suggested me to try this, i hope it works ^_^




byebye
maymay.
♥
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well my day today was pretty shit :/
my music teacher had to shout at me, because i didn't go to my piano lessons, grr =.=
but to add on that i am feeling so ill and wasn't in the best mood considering i had a fight with a friend, FFS! ~
i swear she is forcing me to carry on doing music or something, wtf ? no i don't enjoy going to piano lessons, no i don't like to read music off notes, and NO I STILL WANT TO PLAY THE PIANO BUT NOT IN SCHOOL! i tried to say it as nice as i can ~ but nahhh, she seems like she totally ignored what i had said -_-'' and then she started going on about pressure in school or GCSE's to be honest i wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying, but i just nodded and agreed to whatever she said so she can just stop talking and putting me in a more badder mood, but i guess that was the wrong idea, as i had not known what half the things she said to me, she said she's going to tell my head of house, i guess she's going to say something about pressure in school.. oh thats great isn't it, and i bet they'll contact my parents, and my parents will be like ''what the hell may! your teacher *name* contacted me telling me you was upset in school ? and that you feel like you have loads of pressure on you ? it's not like we're forcing you OVERLY to do well and not get STRAIGHT A*'s in all subjects, even though that will be good as you can get into sixth form and a good university when your older, but WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US ? IF YOUR UPSET YOU SHOULD COME TALK TO US ?" and i will be like "meh! *walks up to my room and locks it*" then they will be shouting if not i will be surprised saying something like actually i don't know how to say it in english but anyways just complaining and stuff basically.. then i will be like "GRRRRRR... (so angry at the music teacher and the other teacher for contacting my parents" then a few hours later, my mum will probably be coming up to my room and telling me to open the door so i would.. then she would keep on going on about it, then my dad will ring me and ask me whats wrong... then my mum will say "why was i upset" then i will be answering "oh no reason in particular" then she will be like "oh really, well i don't believe that" then we will probably have an argument and i will be texting people and turning up my music to cover her words... and then *the end* end of the day ^_^ but then the next morning it will repeat all over again until a few days when something new comes in....
see how much hassle this has caused and it's all their fault, no actually it's all THAT FRIEND'S fault for being in a fight and making me be in such a bad mood in the first place... o_O ~ then my piano teacher will probably ask other people about me and i will be like ''-_-'' and when i see him, he will say ''what was wrong'' then i will say ''nothing in particular'' then we will have a whole lesson on that, then we will have no time for my piano lesson, then i would miss a whole lesson, i swear i never learn anything there either! oh and then i would have to fix the problem with the friend which i bet is going to take a while and i haven't thought of how to fix it but it will come along if not, then oh wells :)

yes so this is the end of my story of how my life will come to a diaster once my music teacher tells my head of house whats happened... good luck to me to bear with it all ¬_¬

byebye
maymay
♥
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Site name: Girlish Diary
Site link: http://marychee.blogspot.com/
Site opened: 01/ August/ 2010 (The Newest)


I have been blogging since 2008/2009. i first started blogging because i wanted a place to write down my thoughts instead of a classical hand written diary

I wasn't all interesting in writing my blog everyday at first as it looked really simple and plain, until when i decided to decorate it and found themes on blogskin i fell in love with writing in my blog
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